12Track12.wma
"Listen my children and you will hear
You can shed weight and still drink beer
(chorus) Oh how? Oh won't you tell us?
It's better with a friend but you can do it alone
Just slapp a happy platter on the gramophone
Stroke the air like you're buttering toast
Shake you yamma yamma like you're humping a ghost.
(chorus)We caress the air like we're buttering toast
Shake our yamma yammas like we're humping a ghost.
Now after tick tock twenty-two seconds of that
You're already many less calories fat
(chorus)After tick tock twenty-two seconds of that
We're already many less calories fat
-And that's a fact.
Trim you
We're gonna tone you
We're gonna slim you
We're gonna hone you down
You don't notice 'cos you're having a gas
But as your body's working it diminishes in mass
Eat light - that's right
You can see the fat evaporate into the night
(chorus)We can see the fat evaporate into the night
Some go slimming in swimming pools
And some stay slim in slums
The guys don't wanna be called tubbettes
Nor the girls called thunderbuns
Stretch - 2 - 3 - 4
Bend - 2 - 3 - 4
Take a deep breath
And touch your toes
Twist - 2 - 3 - 4
Reach - 2 - 3 - 4
Exercise to the radio
Now let's turn the clock way back
When it did not matter if you were fat
They'd glut on butter, they didn't eat marge
They bought their clothing extra-large.
For them of course it's now too late
Let's bring the clock back up to date.
(chorus)Oh how? Oh won't you tell us?
It's better with a friend but you can do it alone
Just slapp a happy platter on the gramophone
Stroke the air like you're buttering toast
Shake you yamma yamma like you're humping a ghost.
(chorus)We caress the air like we're buttering toast
Shake our yamma yammas like we're humping a ghost.
We're gonna skin you
We're gonna bone you
We're gonna slim you
We're gonna hone you down
Everybody's slimmin'
Even men and women!
How did Franz Kafka keep so thin?
He ate himself from within!
(etc.)
To you, the consumer who, in your love of Slapp Happy, hold communion with the band's visible and audible forms, Slapp Happy speaks a various language.
For your gayer hours, Slapp Happy has a voice of gladness, and a smile and eloquence of beauty.
Slapp Happy glides into your darker musings with a mild and healing sympathy, that steals away their sharpness, ere you are aware.
And when thoughts of the last, bitter hour come, like a blight over your spirit, then let Slapp Happy be your balm and stimulant.
We are Slapp Happy.
(-spoken introduction to a 2000 Slapp Happy concert in Japan)
Slapp Happy are: Anthony Moore, Dagmar Krause(above), and Peter Blegvad.
There's a rundown of their recorded works written by an impassioned Japanese fan, here.
My favorite* Slapp Happy is "Desperate Straights", a 1975 collaboration with the members of Henry Cow; both bands sort of merged at this point, creating this more Slapp Happy-ish album of quirky pop tunes, and "In Praise of Learning" (red sock cover) which flies a conspicuously Cow-ish prog-jazz flag.
And here's a song from D.S. called "In the Sickbay", where you might find yourself with the nurses whispering verses, if you don't shake your yamma yamma sufficiently.
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* - Acnalbasac Noom is quite groovy also.
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There's nothing of Slapp Happy on YouTube, but here's one of Dagmar in 1985 or so, singing "Surabaya Johnny" by Kurt Weill...
For more of this, see her solo album of Weill songs, "Supply and Demand".
I am certainly giving Peter Blegvad short shrift here, and A. Moore too, more on them later-?
Acnalbasac Noom (w/Everybody's Slimmin') and Desperate Straights, as well as many other fine schlep heppy recordings, are available from Wayside Music
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